Tis the season for us all to remember all of the burgers and fries we ate last year, and all of the chia seeds and protein powders that we bought and let sit in the cupboard all year long. To think fondly of all the juicing that we were going to do, and all the beers that we drank instead. To reminisce about the P90X DVDs that are collecting dust on the shelf after we ordered them during a vulnerable moment while eating a pint of ice cream and watching the infomercial. “Not this year!” we say, “This year is going to be all about yoga, eating organic and living my best life!” Below are some apps to feed your delusion until you delete them to make room for the latest version of Candy Crush. See you on the other side!
7-minute Workout App (iOS and Android)
This app is chock-full of 7-minute routines, available in both video and text description formats. Many of the routines you can do pretty much anywhere, including work, where sitting at your desk all day is slowly killing you. Use your office chair to do some step-ups or tricep-dips, if not for your own health then to make your cubicle mates question your sanity.
MyFitnessPal (iOS and Android)
Have you ever tracked every food and drink item that you shoved in your pie-hole everyday? It is a RUDE awakening. MyFitnessPal serves as both a food diary and a fitness tracker to help with weight loss goals. Just enter how much weight you want to lose and by when and the app will give you a target calorie count to stay under each day. Think Weight Watchers without the meetings…or Oprah.
Sleep Cycle (iOS and Android)
Most of us don’t need an app to tell us that we snore or that we aren’t getting enough sleep; we have significant others that push and kick us in the middle of the night for that. Of the many features of Sleep Cycle, the best one is the Sleep Cycle alarm clock that monitors your sleep. The app then uses a wake-up phase that starts 30 minutes before your target alarm time to waken you gently, in your lightest sleep state. The Guardian writes, “The result is so gentle and lovely it feels like being woken up by a mermaid stroking your hair or a unicorn nuzzling your toes,” which sounds creepy as hell.
Calm (iOS and Android)
One time I had a panic attack while using a guided meditation app, but I’m sure you’ll have better luck with it. Calm will help if one of your goals for the New Year is to chill the eff out. In addition to meditation, the app has guides for improving sleep, focusing on creativity and leading a more mindful life in general. Namaste, bitches.